Extract from
Astrid Krüger: Panic - Chance For a New Beginning?
1. The unexpected happens
My name is Astrid. Life for me is great. Searching for my perfect job doesn't take me long after college. In 1988, at the age of 28, I am working at the job of my dreams. I work for a large company near Cologne/Bonn Airport. My official title is Project Secretary in the purchasing department. I co-ordinate our purchasers and different foreign departments. My job is especially pleasing to me because it offers the opportunity to work abroad.
In addition to having the job I desire, I have great co-workers. I become close friends with one of my colleagues, Ursula. Whenever possible we will go to lunch together.
Today, Wednesday December 7th, is a typical day. At noon, Ursula and I are heading to the lunch room. I know what I want the special of the day, green kale and sausage, because it is the house speciality. We wait in line, place our orders, pick up our food, pay our bill and proceed to sit down, all normal. Until I take my first bite of food then "it" hit me. All of a sudden it is if someone is trying to pull me off the chair. This force is coming from my right but there is no one there. I can feel my heart pounding, I am sweating and confused. The force that is pulling me is winning and I am about to hit the floor. Then all of a sudden it stops and I am able to sit up straight. However, I am still confused and rush out of the room.
Ursula is speechless and my food untouched. I run to get fresh air. When I get outside it helps but I still have a strange feeling that I can't describe. I try to calm myself down but am very confused about what has happened.
Someone calls to me from a window, "What has happened?". I answer "I just had some problems with my cycle". What else could I say? It may have satisfied him but I am still confused. What happened? I never experienced anything like this before. Sure there were times, that after laying down I get up too fast and I feel a bit dizzy, but nothing like this. I am scared. I am afraid to enter the building because I feel as if "it" may return. Just then Ursula comes to comfort me. I stay outside for a long time but realize that I should go home early today. A day's rest is all I need. Rest will solve my problem.
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